This book is the first to offer an in-depth look at the life of a crossdresser and focuses on the author’s quest for identity, self-acceptance and personal fulfillment. He opens his private notes and photograph albums to reveal two themes that become progressively integrated over thirty years. The first deals with sexual motivation and the second with gender identity. In search of sexual fulfillment, Alice Novic searches for novel and sometimes risky sexual experiences, some of which were very gratifying, but others resulted in self-recrimination, shame, and distress. Most of these harsh feelings are blamed on arbitrary middle-class sex negative values; through personal growth they are supplanted by a more hedonistic view. Shame is replaced by exceptional pleasure and a sense of well-being. This example of personal growth and conflict resolution is one of the major statements of this book.

The motivational foundations of the second theme . . .

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